Holiday: do it the right way

Packing

Me- I always get my clothes dry cleaned and packed for me. For the kids- I buy pages 78-92 of the Boden catalogue three weeks before leaving and then pack them straight in to the children’s matching suitcases. Jeremy- two pairs of linen shorts, a pair of pink chinos, and two polo Ralph Lauren polo necks- it’s the same every year and has been since we met. 

Nectar and her suitcase

Flights

Duty-free for make-up. A strong gin in the bar. Eye mask and a snooze on the flight. The children know not to wake me. In fact, I often book myself in to first class so Jeremy and the kids can have some time just the three of them. 

Hotel 

Anywhere with turquoise water, a crèche and a good wall to pose against. 

I had to float my phone on a lilo to get this shot

Memories

If a blogger has a good time on holiday but there’s no pics of it on social media, is it really a good time? No. It’s not really a memory at all. A memory, for me, is a flattering photo of family printed on a canvas and displayed in the hallway. It took three attempts and €5 to a local beachcomber but this is my favourite memory from our last holiday. 


Social Media

Obviously I ban the children from having tablets at the taverna tables, but I need to have mine to record our meals and memories. My Insta followers love seeing my outfits and Twitter goes in to turmoil if I don’t update my followers about how happy I am. 

 

Smug Mummy Guide to Making Friends

1) I always say you should walk a mile in someone’s shoes before you judge them, but certainly not if they’re Uggs. Because they’re probably fake. Also, I’m not massively in to Converse because I think it’s a sign that someone’s lazy so they probably wouldn’t ever even walk a mile anyway. The footsteps I fall in with are usually from Dubarrys or Hunters. But not muddy ones. I don’t want people thinking I have to walk my own dog.

2) Make up

I am blessed with excellent skin and obedient hair, but I always take time to do my make up. I have  a sister website called glamforthefam.com because I believe a woman should always look good-even if it’s just for the children and the gardener. My desert island item of choice would be Dior’s SS17 collection. 

No judgement, but I wouldn’t be friends with someone who didn’t have blow dried hair- if she doesn’t respect herself, how can she respect our friendship?

3) Creative

The one thing all my girlfriends have in common is that they work. Each one of us has our own Etsy shop selling bespoke children’s wear and/or handwritten whimsical quotations for other stressed out mums. The arts are so important. 

4) Charity

I am heavily involved in charity fundraising. I look for similar selflessness in friends. One of my ‘Smell the Flowers’ memes went for over £470 at a charity auction. The headteacher said it was an invaluable contribution towards to school’s new stables. 

Overall, I think high standards are essential to a friendship. Sometimes I am so lonely I cry in the pantry whilst gorging on Dutchy oatcakes, but I would rather that than spend time with women who think it’s ok to order bar snacks on a night out.