Five Parenting Rules


Gaze Adoringly at Your Husband

In all the inconvenience of pregnancy and an emergency c-section it can be hard to prioritise the father but you simply must. During Ambrose’s birth (DS 6YO), I was careful to spend the lulls between contractions appreciating Jeremy. Even now, every time J reads them a book or butters their toast I realise how lucky I am.

Always Look Fabulous

Jeremy thought I was joking when I asked him to stop at Tanya’s Salon in Chipping Camden when I was four centimetres dilated but I knew the post-birth pics would last longer than the pain. It was the right choice and from then on I have endeavoured to always look perfect: even put fresh make-up on just before bed.

Wear White

When pregnant with my DD (Nectar, 9), I used Google images to create my aspirational post-birth outfit mood board. The rule is simple: summer baby? wear white linen, winter baby? wear white cashmere. I even bought a cream sofa to perch perkily on.


Everything makes me smile. I smiled when Nectar stormed out of our family craft session. I smiled when Jeremy spent £4000 on a road bike. I smiled when Ambrose got expelled from prep school for lighting his farts. Mothers smile so I’m working on making mine beatific. Although I must be careful of wrinkles…


Judge Other Mothers

Motherhood is a minefield but luckily I’ve found the perfect way to parent so I can confidently say everyone else is wrong. If anyone is struggling with anything to do with raising children, just ask. You’ll know it’s me because I’m the one rolling my eyes in Waitrose or tutting in John Lewis.

Me looking fabulous in white whilst I lay next to my fabulous husband dreaming about my fabulous children. #blessed #keepsmiling

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